


Save Me From Myself

by Sweet_poison



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Louis, Drug Abuse, Multi, Physical Abuse, Top Harry, nurse harry - Freeform, patient louis!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-22 19:18:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/917042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweet_poison/pseuds/Sweet_poison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Well this happened........ Louis is in a very horribly abusive relationship with Nick and at his what seems like millionth visit to the hospital he meets Harry who is beyond pissed at his condition. Louis had broken ribs and he is a bloody mess and he knows it and he knows he should leave Nick but Nick is all that he deserves. Until a very sexy nurse comes in and he can actually smile again....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They ushered me into the hospital bed and i winced at the pain in my side. And the very very very cute nurse looked so concerned i just put my hand up to reassure him I am fine.  
“Would you like anything before I start your evaluation?” Said the nurse that’s name is apparently Harry Styles well, that’s what it says on his nametag.  
“Uhh…is it possible for you to give me some water my throat if awfully dry.” I said my voice not even sounding like my own.  
“Yes of course sweetie I will get that right away and I’ll be right back to evaluate you.” God when did my life become this? Constant trips to the hospital each diagnoses worse than the others. At first it was just a broken nose then broken ribs. Now I am here every other day with something broken some nurses I know by name but this one is new. I thought as Harry walked back in.  
“Here you go so I’ma just going to ask you a few questions reguarding your current condition take as long as you want to answer and feel free answer honestly everything you say is in total confidence if you wish.” He said smiling sweetly at me.  
“O-ok” I stuttered. Then muttered an apology.  
“It’s fine babe. Ok. So what happened tonight?” he asked honestly concerned. And I’m still trying to get over that he called me babe. The dork I am.  
“Me and my boyfriend Nick got into another fight today an-“ then he cut me off.  
“Uh…may I ask why you two were fighting?” he asked genuinely concerned.  
“Well I was texting my friend Zayn and he thought I guess that me and Zayn are seeing eachother.”  
“Well are you?” he asked bluntly.  
“No we are not and I tried to explain it to him but sometimes when he drinks he doesn’t listen but tonight it was something more than just alcohol I know I could see it in his eyes.” I stopped because I was becoming choked up.  
“Ok so your boyfriend Nick did this to you?” He asked  
“Yes he struck me in my face at first but I tried to get away which only ever makes it worse but what human wouldn’t try to run away right? And then he caught me on the floor and started pounding on my body and face…” Then I was crying.  
“I am so sorry no one that is as beautiful as you deserves that treatment from anyone.” I said rushing over and rubbing my back as I tried to make myself stop crying.  
“No I am not beautiful do I look beautiful right now he says I’m useless and ugly and worthless… and I don’t deserve someone like him I just don’t and he knows it that’s why he beats me because that is what I deserve.” I sobbed remembering the conversation that he said that verbatim.  
“If you honestly believe him than no offense but you are a idiot. Lou you are a good person no one deserve this kind of tre-“  
“Who the fuck are you to tell me what I deserve huh?! You don’t even know me! I do deserve this shit because it wouldn’t happen to a person who doesn’t deserve it Harry!” I yelled.  
“You are unbelievable you know that.” He said shaking his head.  
“Just leave him ok leave him and don’t ever go back because it will never change.”  
“You are wrong you know he said he would never hit me again so long as I don’t leave him. But if I leave him… He said when he said loves me to death…he meant it.” I said gulping at the last bit.  
“God Lou here take my number call me anytime you need me ok I want to know if this ever happens again I want to be there for you ok just so you have someone.” I shook my head at first but he kept insisting so I took his number then the doctor walked in and said the same shit about broken this cracked that and how I should get a counselor or some shit. I wasn’t listening I was to busy memorizing Harrys profile and his eyes and his laugh when I make a funny face behind the doctor. I love making him laugh already and that’s scary because Nick would never let me have him as a friend especially if he thinks’ I actually enjoy his company so I have to keep him a secret. Harry is my little secret. Nick has enough. So as I left Harry told me to text him. And I did.

 _ **Is it weird that you are saved as Nurse Harry under my contacts?**_  
He typed back almost instantly  
 _ **Having some kind of kinky fantasy about me in a nurse outfit Tomilson?**_  
And I laughed out loud to that because I kind of was.  
 _ **Maybe but that is none of your business Nurse…;)**_  
 _ **I think it is Tomilson but I g2g some of us have a job to tend to but call me if anything bad happens k?**_  
 _ **I will trust me thanks for caring Harry.**_  
As soon as I sent that I stepped through the door in my flat. And nick the dick was there.  
“What did the doctor say Princess?” he said in his drunken voice god he just got even more plastered. And I loathe when he calls me princess.  
“Oh you know a few broken ribs bruised tissue you the usual.” I said with heavy sarcasm.  
“Yeah.” Is all he said and went back to tending his vodka. I don’t mind I go straight to my room and locked the door and rested my body that needs it more than my mind.


	2. It Was a Dream It Doesn't Mean Anything.....Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou has a dream about Harry that gets him into some trouble with Nick....

“Oh my god Harry that’s not funny!” I laughed smacking him playfully. Harry and I decided to meet up and have dinner. I told Nick I was going to the grocery store ha the bastard actually believed me.  
“Well it’s true! Anyways let’s play 21 questions ok?” he said changing the subject.  
“Ok you go first.” I said fast hoping he didn’t expect me to start this game.”  
“Fine. What was your first impression of me?” he asked looking genuinely curious.  
“Well I thought you were unbelievably young then I thought you were really hot. Then I thought I probably would fall down a flight of stairs on purpose if it’d get me an evaluation.” I said laughing to hard I hiccupped. Then I blushed deep red just realizing what I said.  
“Well you are some else Lou.” He said laughing.  
“And don’t I know it Haz. But it’s my turn and I want the same question.” I said giggling at his expression that said “Fuck I’ve just been got”  
“My first impression when I saw you was a broken angel and I wanted to help you and take care of you and hold you until every wound was healed.” He said looking down at his fingers that were intertwined in his lap. And my mouth was settled into a “o” shape because I couldn’t think of anything to say that was the sweetest thing I’ve heard in like a year.  
“Well my turn. Ok are you bisexual or gay?” and I barely heard him because I was picturing me hurling myself into his lap and embarrassing both of us in front of all of these people.  
“I want to leave and I want you to come with me and I want to get a motel.” I said firmly. And Harry looked astonished at my bluntness and completely baffled.  
“Did I over step a boundary?” I asked a bit nervous.  
“No no no… I just really did not expect that to come out of your pretty little mouth.” He said fluttering his eyelashes at me.  
“You’d be surprised what Dirty things I can do with this pretty little mouth of mine.” I whispered in his ear while exiting the booth.  
“You coming” I said turning to look at the statue that has become Harry. Then it looked like he mentally shook himself and he got up and followed me.  
“Ok let’s go” he said tugging me along excitedly.

***

We arrived at his place and by then Harry has a skip to his step and I’m tingling with anticipation. Before he could unlock his door I attacked him. Kissing his lips hard and pushing him against his door. He hesitated in more shock than anything else. Then he started kissing me back even more passionately. I don’t know if this was from the sexual tension that was achingly present in the ride to his flat but I don’t care because now I am wrapped up in Harry. I started kissing his sensitive neck and nibbling on it a bit.  
"Damn Lou we haven’t even made it in here yet.” He said moaning slightly. I started slowly grinding my groin into his. And when I say slow it’s so achingly slow Harry starts to growl at me to stop before he cums in his pants like a horny teenager. I oblige he then unlocks the door and picks me up letting me wrap my legs around him.  
“I didn’t imagine this happening when you invited me to dinner Lou.” He said in-between kisses.  
“Well I am full of surprises and other things.” I said laughing against his lips.  
“This is my kitchen, living room, bathroom, and Bed.” The last word hanging heavily in the air increasing the anticipation. Harry carried me in the room as I’m kissing and sucking love bites into his neck. He through me down on the bed and just stared at me. God the look that he gave me his eyes got a shade darker and he licked his lips. He slowly crawled on the bed while shoving his shoes on the floor.  
“Lou you don’t understand how much I want you right now.” He said climbing in-between my legs.  
“If it’s anywhere near how much I want you then yes I do understand.” He smiled his Harry smile and started grinding down on my hard dick. And shit paybacks a mother because the slowness of his grinding is killing me. I started to grind back faster hoping to catch more friction but all he did was pin me down so I couldn’t move. (And roughly might I add.) But it was a good rough the kind that had me begging him to do some thing anything other than torture me.  
“Fuck Haz if you don’t stop I’m going to cum in my pants like a horny teenager.” I growled mocking his words.  
“Oh so now you understand how I feel,” he said laughing. He started kissing me again and yanked my shirt off my body and I did the same with his. Then he started licking and biting my nipples and god the only way I can describe Harry is sin. He is sin in every meaning of the word. And I reached down between us and snaked my hand into his pants and started running my fingers along his firm erection. And got an appreciative moan from Harry. And by then I am achingly hard and my skinny jeans are making my hardness unbearable.  
“Harry I want you to take off my pants and I want you to fuck me so hard I wont be able to walk right for 3 days.” I said in a growl. Harry stared at me in complete surprise again.  
“You never fail to surprise me Tomilson,” He said as he unbuttoned my pants and as he did so he accidentally grazed me causing my hips to jerk up into his touch. Then he stripped of his pants and boxers. He slowly licked from my stomach to my neck and back again. Making me insane completely insane. He stopped at my hips and nibbled there then he slowly started stroking me and after all of that grinding and teasing it was the best feeling having harry around me. I moaned his name as he swallowed my dick whole, so far I could feel the back of his throat. And I tried to look at him god did I try but he started doing this thing with his tongue and I couldn’t help throwing my head back in sheer ecstasy.  
“God Harry! Fuck!” I yelled. And before I could cum he turned me around and paused. I heard drawers opening and guessed what he was in search for. He proceeded to insert his finger in me causing me to wince at the sudden intrusion.  
“Sorry babe,” harry said apologetically. But I didn’t care because he was now hitting the perfect spot causing me to be very vocal. Then he added more fingers and I felt like I was going to explode.  
“Fuck Harry your gonna make me-“ and I was cut off by a sudden feeling of emptiness but before I could even complain Harry was pushing himself inside of me. And holy shit Harrys dick was huge. As he slowly entered me I felt everything in me tighten. And he hissed in what could have been pleasure or pain I’m not sure because I was moving on him. I started pushing back on him moaning loudly and yelling obscenities. Which encouraged Harry to quicken his pace. He reached around and grabbed my dick and started stroking in time with his pace and my arms were shaking while they were trying to hold me up.  
“Harry I’m about to cum. Harry...” I moaned as I emptied everything I had in me into his hand.

I woke up with my hand down my boxers and a big mess, and a very pissed looking Nick sitting beside the bed.  
“Whose Harry.” He asked his voice wavering.  
“I don’t know a Harry.” I lied too scared of the outcome if I told the truth. Then he was walking up to me swiftly and I tried to scramble away from him before he could hurt me but I wasn’t fast enough and he hit me, right in the face.  
I woke up with Harry standing over me with a concerned look on his face and the florescent light of the hospital.


	3. I remembered you before and that's what hurts the most the memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry gets all aggressive and shout out to the best Beta Ever Louten!!! ok now enjoy!

I just lay there, body aching and looking up at green eyes that looked a little glassy. “So this is the second time you’ve seen me less than decent, you have me at a disadvantage here Styles.” I said needing to break the awkward silence. But Harry wasn’t really helping me here, he was just staring at me. Finally he said something, shaking his head.

“Lou, you are one of the strongest people I’ve met in my entire life, I mean you are in the hospital hooked up to, like, a million machines and you make a joke of it.” He said incredulous. I chuckled nervously, not really liking the extra attention. Seeing as I’m not really used to it and all.

“Well I’ve learned to make a joke out of the shit the world throws at me. I mean, why be so serious in life, none of us make it out alive anyways right?” I said quoting my grandfather with a fond smile on my face.

“You are outstanding, but I really need to know what happened here Lou, I mean, I get it no one else asks you but they figure, yeah? I’m not gonna figure I need to know.” He said the last part with a hint of an emotion I feel like I should know, but slips my mind. But then I think about what he wants to know and turn 50 shades of red. 

“Uhh, it was nothing Harry, I mean I just made him mad.” I said looking down at my white blanket.

“No, no bullshit Tomlinson spill it what happened I’d like to think I am a decent person and if we are going to be friends I…”

“What makes you think I want to be your friend anyway? Shouldn’t you be at home or something?” I said getting irritated I don’t let people in and I definitely do not deserve a good friend like Harry.

“So you don’t want to be friends?” he asked skeptically.

“No… Yeah, yeah I do, want to be friends, but I’m not dragging you into my shit Harry I won’t.” I said breathing hard because, if I am being completely honest, I’d rather die than tell Harry, (of whom I’ve known for 2 weeks now.) That I got my ass beat by my boyfriend because I had a wet dream about him.

“You aren’t dragging me if I am begging you to pull me into your bullshit. Look Lou, I want more than anything to be a highlight, a good part. I don’t care if we are just friends, I don’t care, and I want to be someone you look forward to talking to. I won’t try to make you leave him, I promise, just please talk to me.” Harry said on the verge of tears. No one has cried over me in a long time. I kind of forgot other people could cry, I’ve only seen my tears for what feels like forever. And then I give in.

“Fine! Ugh. I had a wet dream about you.” Which really sounded like Ivkat avet dreemabut chu.

“What? Lou stop playing around this is pretty bloody serious.” He said getting pissed off.

“Fine! Geez. I had a wet dream about you, okay! God you’re such a twat. He heard me moaning in my sleep apparently, and when I came I yelled your name. I woke up from it and he said ‘Who’s Harry’ and I said ‘I don’t know’ and I got punched in the face.” I said chest heaving at how fast I said that sentence. Harry just plopped down on a chair and put his face in his hands, but I could see the tops of his ears and the base of his neck a really bright red.

“Lou I-I am so sorry, I’m just so sorry you had to go through that because of me.” He said into his hands.

“No Haz, you will not blame yourself. I had the fucking dream you cannot blame yourself. That’s one of the reasons I didn’t tell you. I figured you’d blame yourself. The other being I was completely embarrassed.” I said reaching over and almost screaming at the pain in my side. Wait pain in my side? I just got punched in the face right? And my arse hurts. Realization hit and my eyes widened in terror. He didn’t, did he?

“Did you just call me Haz?” he said surprised.

“Yeah. One perk of the dream, I gave you a cute nickname. But can I ask you what all is wrong with me, because I know you wouldn’t have looked so relieved that I woke up if it was just a punch in the face.” I said scared, no terrified of his answer.

“Well what all do you remember Lou?” he said in an attempt to distract me for a little bit which did not work because I knew what he was up to but I played his game.

“I remember waking up to a very pissed looking nick and him asking me who you were, and me saying I didn’t. Then he quickly got up, I tried to move away, I really did but..” and I couldn’t finish because I was choked up.

“Well Lou, I’m sorry to inform you, but you’ve been unconscious in this hospital for two and a half day. You have 3 broken ribs, a cracked jaw, and a bruised kidney.” He stated in a strained voice. I was wondering why I couldn’t feel it, but I guessed I was pretty drugged up then, huh?

“Haz, tell me was I? I wasn’t r…” and I couldn’t finish it because Harry was nodding and there was a knock at the door. I didn’t even know I was crying until I felt the warm liquid running down my face and a single salty tear fell into my mouth.

“Hey, I was wondering if I could come in nurse.” Said a voice all too familiar to me, it was Nick’s apologetic voice, but I didn’t give a shit how sorry he was. All I could see was red, all I could feel was a burning rage.

“Sorry sir, but you must have the wrong room no one has visited this patient for almost three days.” Harry said in an innocent voice.

“Oh I know but I am his boyfriend is he up yet?” Nick asked craning his head over Harry’s large body; I feigned sleep hoping he wouldn’t talk to me. Harry glanced back at me, and seeing me sleeping.

“Uhh… No he isn’t, but I guess you can come in. Just do not disturb him. May I ask what happened to him?” Nick looked Harry up and down shaking his head a bit.

“You are a nosey little nurse huh? What’s your name anyways?” and I went completely still, every muscle in my body going tense and unstable.

“Oh I am Nurse Styles.” Harry said smiling way too sweetly.

“Hmmph…is Styles your first name? If it is, your mother must hate your guts.” Nick said barking out an obnoxious laugh. Shit, I hope Haz is quick on his feet.

“Well Sir, My name is Edward if that is alright with you. And what’s your name?” Harry asked shooting Nick a scrutinizing glare.

“Edward hmm you look more like a Robert or something but I am Nick, Nick Grimshaw.” Nick said way too proudly.

“Well I guess the name suites you it rhymes with dick, and that is exactly what you seem to be. But like I was saying earlier, what happened to him?” Harry, letting a hint of venom into his words, caused Nick to be taking back by his sudden rudeness.

“He was a little drunk…and he fell down the stairs and hit his side on the railing.” He let the lie fall flawlessly from his mouth just as easily as a river flowing down stream.

“He didn’t have a trace of alcohol in his system.” Harry said with his teeth gritted together.

“I- uh- well I guess he must have just have tripped then.” Now nick was stammering.

“Oh really, did he trip and land ass first on a broom stick too? He seems to have all the signs of being a rape victim. So help me god, if I find out you did this to him I will gut you like the pig you are.” And I’ve never heard Harry talk like that and it scared me so I started coughing and opened my eyes.

“Hey babe how are you I was just visiting you I’ve stopped by every day to see you.” He said lying to me.

“Aww, how sweet of you Babe, I’m glad you had the time. I know you work and all.” I need to be strong I don’t want harry to end up getting hurt because of me, so I sucked it up.

“Yeah, it’s been a busy week.” He said shrugging.

“But nothing’s more important to me than you.” He said kissing my forehead.

“That’s so sweet babe.” I said trying to be convincing, I heard the door slam and I jumped at the sound. Fuck, I’m sorry Harry, but I won’t let you get hurt too. I just won’t.

“So are you hurting right now, do you need some more medicine?” he asked feigning concern. I remembered you before and that’s what hurt’s the most, those memories…  
“No, I’m fine.” I said, my voiced cracked at the end, and I told him I was exhausted and needed rest. I closed my eyes to escape the lies, and the pain in my chest that feels like my hearts been ripped out and stomped on by an elephant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The detective gives Louis a visit. and all Hell breaks loose in the hospital room

Harry’s POV

I slammed the door as I stomped off. How dare he, how fucking dare he! He knows he hurts him on purpose. He fucking raped him, for Christ sakes! And now he’s fawning all over him. I mean, I sat there and defended him, and I would have kept doing it until my face turned blue. But calling him baby and Nick putting his filthy mouth on him… Just the thought of that happening again makes my blood run cold then hot and back again. Right about now I could bash that fucking loser’s head in! He doesn’t deserve Lou, but Lou thinks he only deserves him.

“Nurse Styles! Nurse Styles!” Yelled Doctor Coats.

“Yeah, Doc?” I said turning abruptly almost tripping over my own feet.

“Uhh.. So how is Tomlinson?” he asked holding up Louis folder.

“Well he’s fine. Woke up today and now he is getting a visit from the infamous Nick.” I said the last words with such utter hate; I didn’t even recognize my own voice.

“Well, as you may know, it’s the hospital’s protocol to call the police if there are any symptoms of a rape victim. We all kept quiet of Mr. Tomlinson’s little secret because it’s his business if he wants to stay with whomever he pleases. But now it’s more than bruises, cuts and busted lips. The cops will be here in the morning to question him and his boyfriend.” He said, looking at me intently, as though he was searching for something in my expression, so I kept it blank and emotionless. 

“So that means someone will go to prison, sir.” I asked a bit to cheery at the thought.

“Yes it does, but don’t think about that right now. I have to go make further evaluations on the kid; you go home it is 10:30 at night. Go home and rest, you need it, you’ve been here standing over that kid for a full 3 days.” He said getting concerned.

“Ok Doc, I will, take care of him.”

“I will ‘s my job” he said

“And Doc?” I said before turning around and leaving the waiting room.

“Yes Harry?” he said using my first name.  
“Don’t let Nick stay with him tonight, okay? I just have a bad feeling about all of this.”

 

**************

Louis POV

I wake again to a harsh light and a shake of my shoulder, and to Harry’s face. Thank god, Harry’s face. “Haz I’m so so-“ he cut me off with his hand so I could fully adjust what was really going on around me.

“Mr. Tomlinson, this is Detective Osborne, he’s here to ask you what all you remember from that night. I understand that this may be difficult for you, but he just wants you to help him help you.” He said the last part lower and I don’t understand why. Of course I will tell the detective what happened then my eyes wonder around the room and meet a set of eyes that will make it pretty hard for me to tell the truth…Nick.

“So I am Detective Osborne, and I just wanted to ask you a few questions, ok Louis?” I nodded my head in response, because my throat felt like it was closing and the walls felt like they were closing in on me. Suffocating and preventing air from circulating.

“So can you tell me in your own words what happened to you that night?” Osborne asked. I was sweating, because Nick was staring at me, his eyes boring into the side of my face. I was not meeting his eyes at any costs. Then there was Harry’s stare it was more encouraging, accepting and safe.

“Well…I um…” I looked at Harry apologetically. Then Harry’s look became knowing, he knew what was about to happen. So he bent over me and whispered in my ear.

“Lou he cannot hurt you here, let alone in front of this officer, you are safe.” He said and before he could stand up straight I whispered back.

“I don’t want the only person who will ever love me to rot in a cell because of me I would hate myself; I already do for bringing you into this Haz.” I said and I looked at the Detective.

“I was at a bar with my boyfriend here and we were drinking. I guess I got sassy with someone at the pub, because he kind of… Ruffed me up and I guess I was so shit-faced I didn’t feel the pain. When my boyfriend and I got home, we had sex and I passed out. He brought me here out of fear.” I said letting the lie fall effortlessly from my tongue.

“So what you are saying is that you and your boyfriend consented to the sex that happened, it wasn’t forced upon you?” Asked Osborne. Then I nodded my head.

“That is exactly what I am saying officer.” I said putting on my best Louis Tomlinson smile. I looked over at Nick; he smiled at me and nodded. I happened to catch Harry’s eye and he looked utterly broken. And I wanted to cry. Then all hell broke loose.

“No.” and at first it was barely audible and then Harry yelled it.

“NO! Louis, Fuck no, do not protect this dick head. Do not! I swear to you, I could love you so much more than him I swear. He is shit, complete shit.” He screamed, than he was walking towards me really fast. He picked me up from my laying position and started to shake me.  
“Lou, you do deserve better. I am better. Hell, a fucking pig is better than this Fucking dick hole! Please Lou, just say the words and I will take you with me. Tell Detective Osborne the truth, please.” He was begging me and I damn near gave in until I heard Nick’s voice boom and it sounded so much like thunder I jumped out of Harry’s arm.

“Who the fuck are you to tell him such things. He is with, me he doesn’t want you. He needs me, he deserves me.” And I guess that was it for Harry, because he was running at Nick and he swung and tried to hit him in the face. Nick only dodged it and pushed Harry down. While Harry was on the floor Nick bent down and said venomously in his ear. “You won’t win here Kid, I already have Lou, and trust me, and the only thing to get him away from me is death. You will not take him from me Harry.” Then Harry and I froze because he knew this whole time.

“But how did you I don’t understand.” Harry stammered.

“I know everything about Lou, and I know that you were way too pretty to not be the one he was moaning about in his sleep. And now, it’s ok, because he is protecting you so I know he won’t really leave me. He is too scared of what I will do to that pretty little face of yours.” And a tear fell from Harry’s eyes causing my heart to clench in my chest.

“He will leave you one day and you will be left in the rain wishing you would have treated him better.”

“And the only way he is leaving me is if he is in a casket!” he whispered harshly in Harry’s ear. I couldn’t hear the things that were being said but I could tell by the smug look on Nick’s face that he won and the Detective finally stepped in.

“Ok boys that’s enough, cool off. Now that this misunderstanding is settled Louis you can go home in a few days sorry for the trouble.” I just nodded at him. Harry got up on his feet and shot me a desperate look that said ‘say something, anything.’ I just let my head fall down, not able to meet his eyes for another second. Before he left, he said loud enough for me to here.

“I will not give up on you Tomlinson, I won’t, I… I refuse to fail you.” He said finally walking out; all I heard before I let the darkness carry me away again was Nick’s laughter.


	5. How is love able to hurt you so thoroughly?

"Babe! Lou look I'm sorry for everything. I just get so jealous and I feel like you are slipping away from me and it scares the shit out of me. But look I've brought you some food." He's got to be fucking kidding me. I am so sick of his apologies he can shove them. But I love him and he's all I got. Then a picture of Harry's face crosses my mind and I mentally slap myself. No be strong no Hazza I can't get him hurt.   
"Lou....Lou I'm not gonna keep fucking calling your name damn."  
"Yes Nick I heard you...Thank you I forgive you." my voice sounded so monotone it scared me.  
"Well you were the one dreaming of that ugly ass nurse like seriously Lou....I shouldn't be the one apologizing I'm the one hurting on a day to day bases here, you don't even remotely get it do you? You are all I have breathing is impossible when there's even the slightest thought of another man being able to please you crosses my mind.." Nick sniffed and wiped his eyes. And I fell into all that he is again. Even though it won't turn out different even though Harry is so much better. This love I have with Nick is the sweetest of poisons and it always forces me to hold on tight before I am push, kicked, or punched away from that spot close to his heart that was filled with joy at some point.   
"I know hun and I'm sorry but I can't control my bloody dreams...he was just so nice to me and he's a good friend is all.." Then old nick came back in a blink of an eye.  
"A good FRIEND?! A bloody fucking friend ok don't you fucking bullshit me Louis Seriously....a fucking friend?" he ran his hands up and down his face trying to calm his self. Then all of the hot breakfast was on the wall.   
"Look you have many male friends I don't control your friend relationships nick why do you feel the need to control mine?" stay calm I told myself loosing your temper will not help anything...  
"Because I am not your Bitch Lou that's the difference.."  
"Are you fucking kidding me? I am not your bitch we are in a mutual relationship and this is not prison...YOU DON'T OWN ME!!! I am my own person." I trying so hard to stay calm and failing miserably.   
"Well this might as well be prison for you right? If you're not with your precious Harry right? Look I'm not perfect by far but I am all you got I love you unconditionally and undeniably but I won't tolerate a fucking cheater!" I couldn't help it now my blood is boiling.  
"what about Christina? or George, peter, Kenny?"  
"What did you just say?"  
"I SAID What about all the people you cheated on me with?!!!! Huh I mean one of them was even a fucking GIRL!!! Who are you sometimes I am so sick of holding this shit in I am so tired of it you're just....Just a fucking dick!!! There I said it!" That earned me slap across the face but I don't care I am so done with his ass!  
"is that it?"  
"What...what did you just say Louis?"  
"I said is that all you got you weak piece of shit?" I screamed as I ran into him. We crashed into a table close to the bedroom door I grabbed one of the broken legs and bashed it into his skull. And damn did that feel good....

"Come on fucker!!! bring it that can't be all you got bastard!" and that was the first and last time I ever defended myself against nick...

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you thought! Add me and Louten on Tumblr! mrz-janee and strengthandbravery


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